It's Freaking Christmas
by Wemmabby
Summary: Carol organizes a secret Santa program in hopes to lighten up the holidays, and maybe even receive a gift from that special someone?
1. Chapter 1

It's Freaking Christmas

Chapter 1

"Alright, we have the secret Santa assignments ready!" Carol announced. She was wearing a festive Santa hat and a belt with jingle bells attached to it. She did a holiday dance. After all, Carol had been overzealous about spreading Christmas cheer ever since she was a little girl. Carol passed out cards to everyone. Some people cheered, and some people groaned as they unfolded their papers. But, they had to remember that this activity was totally randomized. And even if they didn't particularly like that person, their gift had to be as beautiful and as special as possible!

But Carol had to admit, she felt kind of sorry for the person who heard someone groaning and then received a present from him the a week later. And even though Carol had been the one to organize the whole "Secret Santa" thing, and had been the one to decide that she wanted it to be totally random, she secretly hoped that Daryl would be her secret Santa. Daryl knew her, and well, too. She was so curious as to what kind of Christmas present a person like Daryl would get for you.

Carol took a deep breath before unfolding her card. Dramatic music played. She closed her eyes, crossed her fingers and quickly unfolded the slip of paper.

Okay...

So she had to find a present for Rick.

"Easy enough," she smiled and said to herself. She went back to her cell block to think about presents she might want to get for Rick. First she considered hanging a mistletoe somewhere. Not because she wanted to kiss Rick, (although she wouldn't have a problem with it) but she knew that Beth had a huge crush on him. So not only would she be providing a gift for Rick, because, well, he'd definitely be getting some action, but also for Beth.

In a way she felt sorry for the awkward young girl, because no one really knew her due to lack of storyline, and whoever her secret Santa was wouldn't be able to get her a gift that truly defined her. Carol probably knew Beth more than anyone else in the group, mainly because they had been spending so much time together taking care of Judith.

Carol didn't feel guilty about the mistletoe idea, although she should because Rick was a married man, but she felt that Lori was not a very committed wife and mother. She had betrayed and lied to Rick, and never kept track of her only son, Carl. Carol honestly believed that Beth deserved Rick more than Lori did, simply because Beth was a sweet, innocent young girl with a long life ahead of her, and she deserved a sexy man to spend it with, even if it was during the zombie apocalypse.

Lori and Carol had been friends for a long time, because they were both wives and mothers when the apocalypse hit, and they enjoyed each other's company. Carol would sometimes think that Lori was gay for her, because Lori was very unpredictable, and she might've thought that Carol was a lesbian because of her haircut. But, of course, Carol wasn't, and of Lori ever tried to make a move on her, she would freak. Who in their right mind would ever want to be in a relationship with Lori?

Carol laughed at the question, and continued to think when Lori appeared in the doorway.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Oh, Lori!" Carol exclaimed. "I was just thinking about you!" Carol knew that it wasn't particularly in a positive way, but Lori deserved to know what was on Carol's mind.

Lori sat down on the bed next to Carol.

"So," she said, rubbing her hands together excitedly. "Who's your secret Santa?"

"Rick," Carol told her. Lori smiled.

"Oh, I know the perfect gift!" she exclaimed. "It's too bad Rick's not my secret Santa, huh?"

"Yeah," said Carol. "Hey, who IS your secret Santa?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Lori giggled. She looked around to make sure that nobody was listening and then whispered into Carol's ear: "I got Shane!"

Lori squealed, obviously excited about the person she'd be gifting this year. Oh crap, Carol thought to herself. Why the hell did I make this random?!

"Soooo, what do you think I should get for him?" Lori asked, bouncing up and down.

"Well, you know Shane all too well," said Carol. "I think you know what he'd like."

"Wow! Now that you've said that, Carol, I actually DO have something that I can give Shane!" Lori hugged her and skipped away, probably off to tell everyone else the great news.

"Now Lori has an excuse to spend Christmas with that doucheface," Carol muttered. She sighed. She wasn't really that excited about being Rick's secret Santa this year, but she had her hopes up that a present from Daryl would appear under the tree on Christmas morning. Not that they were exactly sure when Christmas was, but it was better than nothing. And Christmas was Carol's favorite holiday! And she was looking forward to spending it with her new family more than ever.

Ah, yes. Her new family! The family that just assumed she was dead and never came looking for her, and pretended to be happy when Daryl found her half-dead in a closet. The family that had let her daughter become a zombie. The family that had let her have so much screen time, but not so many lines.

Carol thought that spending Christmas with them would be amazing, because they just loved her so much. But she was probably wrong. She imagined what it would be like; Lori making out with Shane, T-Dog absent from the room, and Daryl standing there looking smexy...

Oh, Carol! Why are you thinking about Daryl when you SHOULD be helping everyone decorate the Christmas tree?

Carol wondered off and found Beth and Maggie decorating the tree all by themselves.

"Hey, where has everyone gone?" asked a confused Carol. Maggie shrugged.

"I guess they all ran out of Christmas spirt," she said sighing and hanging another ornament on the tree.

"What?!" Carol asked, outraged. "Girls, girls! I don't care how long it takes, but we are going to bring the Christmas cheer right back to the zombie apocalypse!"

"And how are we going to do that?" Beth asked.

"Well," said Carol. "First, we're going to need some duct tape."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Chapter 2

It's Freaking Christmas

Chapter 2 (Carol's POV)

"Duct tape?" Maggie yells. "What the hell are we going to do with duct tape?!"

"Well, it can always make Christmas seem more sexual," I explain. "All of the different colors can really brighten up the holidays!"

"Carol, shouldn't we just sing some Christmas songs?" Beth suggests.

"Oh no, Beth," I say, shaking my head. "You sing any song lyrics and this fic gets removed. You hear me?"

"Yes," she says firmly. "I understand."

"Good," I say with a smile. "Now, let's cover this prison with duct tape!"

A few minutes later, the girls bring back several rolls of green and red duct tape.

"Duct tape is all the rage, ladies!" I inform them. "Let's make this place sparkle!"

They cover almost everything with it, and it looks like a Christmas wonderland! I know that this will get everyone back into the Christmas spirit!

Maggie, Beth and I take a moment to observe the beautiful Christmas decorations. The tree looks wonderful, and so does all the holiday duct tape. I know that by the time we have our secret Santa exchange tomorrow morning, everyone will be so excited!

By the time everyone is asleep, I'm still wide awake in my bed. I guess I'm just excited about Christmas tomorrow. I've already hung up the mistletoe, so I'm hoping that Rick will notice it.

Suddenly someone walks into my cell.

"Hey," they whisper. It's Daryl.

"Hi..." I say sitting up in bed. "Why are you still awake?"

"Why are YOU still awake?" he asks me. I glare at him.

"Seriously, Daryl."

"I was setting up my present for Andrea," he informs me. "I wanted you to come see it."

"Oh!" I say, a little sad that Daryl's not my secret Santa. "Sure."

I hop out of bed and Daryl leads me over to where he has Andrea's gift set up. It just looks like a box with a sheet over it.

"What is that?" I ask him. He laughs at the comment.

"I'll show ya," he says, pulling off the sheet. I walk up to it in order to get a closer look.

"I drew it," he says proudly, coming up behind me and placing a hand on my shoulder as I stare down at the painting. It's a picture of the governor and Andrea making out.

"Wow..." I whisper, turning around to face him. "Do you really think she'll like this?"

"Well, she has been pretty sad about him lately," he says. "I think she'll like it."

"But, Daryl, that man was a sociopath!" I exclaim. "Won't the rest of the group be kind of pissed if they have to look at that everyday?"

"This is a gift for Andrea, Carol," he tells me. "Not for them."

Then Daryl looks around the room.

"I'll be right back," he says, leaving me. He comes back a few seconds later with a gift box in his hand. It's wrapped with duct tape.

"Carol, I know that I wasn't your secret Santa, but I still wanted to get you somethin," he says, handing over the box. I spend a half an hour peeling the duct tape off of it, and I finally get it open. They're zombie bone earrings.

"Do you like them?" he asks, smirking.

"They're perfect," I say happily. "And they're just what I wanted." Daryl helps me put them on.

"You look...beautiful," he says sheepishly. I smile. We both look up...

Sh*t!

I guess I didn't think too hard about where I was gonna put this mistletoe...

"Uh, what's that?" Daryl asks.

"Oh, nothing, just my, um, Christmas present for Rick..." I explain.

"Oh."

"No, I don't like Rick, it's not because-"

Daryl drops his gun and grabs me. We kiss.

In that moment, everything I I know changes. I guess I hadn't realized how much I really loved Daryl...how much I really...needed him...

Daryl finally pulls away and we smile awkwardly at each other for a few seconds.

"I think I should be getting to bed," I whisper. I kiss him on the cheek and then proceed over to my cell block.

"Holy sh*t," I whisper to myself before going to sleep. "Damn that boy sexy!"

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Chapter 3

It's Freaking Christmas

Chapter 3

"WAKE UP, BEEOTCH!" Carol heard Lori yelling into her ear. Carol sprang up from her bed.

"What the hell?" she said angrily. "I'm trying to sleep, dammit!"

Lori took a step back. "Sorry Carolay-lay, just trying to let you know that IT'S FREAKING CHRISTMAS!" Lori jumped up and down and flailed her arms all around.

"Yeah, yeah..." Carol yawned, laying back down. "I need to sleep for a few more minutes. Why don't you go and check on Carl?"

"Who?" said a confused Lori. Carol rolled her eyes. "Just go away, Lori. You're making me sick."

"Jesus, Carol!" Lori said, offended. "Who knew that you could be such a skankbag?"

"OH SNAP! What did you just call me?" Carol yelled, jumping out of bed to punch Lori in the face.

"AH!" Lori shouted. "OWWW!" Lori punched her back.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, B*TCH!" Lori yelled, kicking Carol in the face. Suddenly Maggie walked in.

"HEY!" she yelled, pulling the two apart. "What the hell is going on here?!"

"SHE CALLED ME A SKANKBAG!" Carol yelled, trying to break free from Maggie's grip.

"SHE MADE UP SOME PERSON NAMED CARL!" Lori screeched, taking off her shoe and throwing it at Carol's face.

"GIRLS, GIRLS!" Maggie yelled. "Let's settle this like men, alright?"

"HELL NAW!" Carol shouted, running out of the room. Lori followed her. Maggie just stood there in shock.

"Oh, why the hell do I get involved in this sh*t?" she said, sighing. She slowly made her way over to where the rest of the group was opening presents.

"A can opener?" she heard Glenn exclaim, hugging his secret Santa, Hershel. "It's just what I've always wanted!" Suddenly Michonne walked up to Maggie.

"Present," she said mysteriously. Maggie ripped open the box to find a lock of golden brown hair.

"That's the governor's," Michonne whispered. "Keep that the HELL away from Andrea!" With that, Michonne walked off to receive her Christmas present from Rick Grimes.

"What the hell is this?!" she said angrily, kicking Rick in the leg.

"Um, it's a rock?" said Rick.

"A ROCK?! A freaking ROCK? What the hell an I gonna do with a rock?" Michonne threw the rock at Rick and then wandered away.

Maggie saw Carol and Lori walk in from another room. Their arms were crossed and they looked anything but happy. Maggie guessed that they had sorted things out, but probably not in the most friendly manor.

The women made their way to opposite sides of the room. Lori headed towards Shane to give him his gift.

"It's a shovel," she said happily.

"Aw, thanks babe!" he said hugging her. Unfortunately, Rick overheard their conversation.

"Uh, excuse me?" said Rick. "What did you just call her?!"

"Lori," Shane lied.

"Seriously, Shane!" Rick yelled, stomping on his foot. "What did you call her?"

"Babe," Lori said with a smile. Shane nudged her.

"Babe?!" Rick said angrily, clenching his fists. "BABE?"

"Look, bro, just calm down okay?" Shane said, trying to settle their dispute.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" Rick screamed.

"Rick, stop!" Hershel yelled. "You're ruining Christmas!"

"Me? I ruined Christmas?" Rick shouted. "SHANE RUINED FREAKING CHRISTMAS! NOT ME!"

Daryl was standing just a few feet away from them, and he was laughing at their argument. He saw Carol walk up beside him.

"Nice party," Daryl said sarcastically.

"Thanks, jackass," she said with a laugh.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Watch it!" Carol laughed.

"So, did you end up giving Andrea her present yet?" Carol asked him. He shrugged.

"How could I with all this crazy shit going on?" he said. Carol started giggling again.

"Those two never stop, do they?" Daryl asked her.

"Nope," Carol said with a laugh. "So, do you still remember...last night?" Daryl froze.

"Um, yeah, how could I not?" he replied.

"Did you...feel anything?" she asked him. Carol knew that this was probably the most awkward way she could've asked the question- and that it was super awkward for the both of them- but she just had to know.

"Well, uh, yeah, if you sucking on my face counts," he responded.

"I'm serious, Daryl."

"It was okay..."

"Okay?! Daryl Dixon! How can making out with ME just be 'okay'?" Carol yelled.

"Shut up!" he yelled, suddenly kissing her for the second time.

Carol was surprised that no one noticed- especially Rick, because he had shipped them so hard from the start, and had even attempted to bribe her and Daryl to hook up, using food and other stuff they wanted.

But of course they never accepted Rick's offers, since their first kiss had only been last night.

Rick and Shane were still screaming at each other, which kind of ruined the moment for her and Daryl, but he was still a pretty good kisser.

"Daryl, why the hell did you wait until now to finally get with me?" Carol asked him.

"I don't know," he admitted. "We probably could've a long time ago..."

"What?" Carol exclaimed. "Daryl, I've been in love with you since the day I freaking saw you! And all those times when you went lookin' for Sophia! Why did you wait till now to tell me that you felt the same way?"

"Carol, does it really matter?" Daryl said. "Look. We're together now. So take a freaking chill pill."

"So...maybe we can..."

"Yeah, sure," said Daryl. "Right after you take your chill pill."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	4. Chapter 4

It's Freaking Christmas

Chapter 4

"This party blows," Maggie told her sister.

"I think it's pretty rassum," she responded.

"Hey, is that a...mistletoe?!" Maggie said in shock. "I wonder who thought of THAT..."

"It looks like Glenn is really enjoying it," Beth commented. Maggie looked over to see Glenn making out with Andrea.

"SLUT!" Maggie yelled, punching Andrea in the face.

"Girlfriend, you gotz problems!" Andrea yelled in pain.

"Ohhhh crap," said Carol. "This was not supposed to happen..." Daryl laughed.

"I don't think that Rick's heading over there any time soon," Daryl said with a chuckle. "Your "gift" ruined the party!"

"Shut up!" Carol yelled angrily. "I really tried to make this party really good, okay?"

"Okay," said Daryl. "But it didn't work, and it's all your fault."

"Eh..." Carol sighed. "So, are you going to give Andrea her present yet?"

"Yeah, maybe it will cheer her up from her recent beatin' from Maggie..." Daryl yelled loud enough for Maggie to hear. Maggie came over to them and slapped Daryl across the face.

"GLENN IS MY FREAKING BOYFRIEND!" she screeched, slapping him again. "AND IT'S FREAKING CHRISTMAS, AND HE'S MAKING OUT WITH ANDREA!"

"I have to pee," Carol whispered.

"Damn, woman!" Daryl yelled. "Shut up!"

"GET OUT OF MY FACE!" Maggie screamed, running away.

"But you came over to US!" Carol yelled. They both sighed.

"Maybe I did ruin Christmas," Carol whispered.

"It's not your fault," Daryl said, comforting her.

"What?!" Carol exclaimed. "You told me a minute ago that it WAS all my fault!"

"Well, I take that back," Daryl said. "Everybody else screwed up Christmas. Not you, Carol. You technically SAVED Christmas!"

"Really?" Carol said in disbelief. "D-do you really think so?"

"Carol, we wouldn't have even HAD a Christmas if it weren't for you!" Daryl exclaimed. He and Carol hugged.

"Um, Daryl?" Carol asked as they pulled away. "Do you see what's going on over there?"

"Oh shit," Daryl said.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	5. Chapter 5

It's Freaking Christmas

Chapter 5

"ANDREA!" Carol yelled, running over to help her. A walker had taken off a chunk of her arm, and Rick had shot it dead. Andrea moaned in pain.

"Someone call 9-1-1!" Carol exclaimed, frantically looking for medical supplies.

"Well, ya better ask Rick to call," said Maggie. "Cuz he seems like the only one who can get the phones working here."

"Hershel!" Carol yelled. "C-can you do anything?!" Hershel shook his head silently.

"I-I need to talk to Maggie," Andrea whispered, gasping for air. Maggie crouched down beside her, and Andrea slapped her across the face.

"That's what you get for calling me a slut! Burn in Hell," Andrea said before her heart gave out.

"Is she still breathing?" Shane asked worriedly.

"I-I...I don't think so," Carol said sadly. She stood up and ran to Daryl for support.

"I did ruin Christmas..." Carol said. "Andrea's dead and it's all my fault."

"Carol, stop talking like that! Everything's going to be just fine," Daryl said reassuringly.

"Um, guys?" Rick said. "Are we going to let her turn or is someone going to-"

They heard a shot ring out.

It was none other than Michonne, the fierce warrior ninja black woman, who had shot and killed her best friend.

"Who wants pie!" Carol said cheerfully, trying to change the subject. She lead them over to where she had a pumpkin pie sitting out. Everyone followed but Michonne.

"Wow, Carol!" Rick exclaimed. "I didn't know that you could cook!"

"Really, Rick?" she asked him. "You didn't know that I could cook?"

"I didn't know that you could cook a gourmet meal like THIS!" he corrected her.

"Well, okay Rick," said Carol. "If you want to call a zombie-infested pie "gourmet," then it's fine by me." Carol cut the pie and handed everyone a slice. When she gave one to Daryl he smiled at her and her ovaries exploded.

"This is great," said Lori after taking a bite. "Tastes like the one my mother used to make."

"I miss grandma," Carl said sadly. Lori failed to comfort him so Shane had to.

"It's alright son," said Shane, placing his arm around Carl. Rick looked ready to blow his head off.

"Rick, don't," Maggie mouthed from across the table. Rick looked furious and his eyes were red with anger.

Suddenly, they heard a sound coming from the chimney.

"What was that?" Beth whispered, holding onto her sister.

"No way!" Carl said, running over to see where the noise was coming from. Shane followed him.

"Are you coming?" Daryl asked Carol.

"I'm afraid if I do I'm going to screw this up even more," she muttered.

"Carol, if someone is going to screw this up, I'd want it to be you," Daryl told her. "And besides- its freaking Christmas!"

"You're right, Daryl," she said. "It's freaking Christmas."

They all walked over to the chimney to see what was going on. Suddenly a man wearing a red suit rolled out from the chimney.

"S-Santa?!" Carl said, grinning.

"Praise the lord," Lori said in shock.

"Are you okay?" Carol asked the mysterious man.

"Yep, I'm fine. Just need a little help getting up please?" he asked. Carol and Maggie helped him to stand up.

"HO HO HO!" the man yelled. "Merry Christmas!"

"Who ARE you?" Daryl asked in suspicion.

"Why, I'm Santa Clause!" the man said. No one believed him but Carl, who was jumping up and down for joy.

"What do you want from us, old man?" Daryl said, aiming his crossbow at Santa's head.

"Oh, I don't want anything FROM you, Daryl," said Santa. "I come bearing presents FOR you!"

"Wait how the hell do you know my name?" Daryl asked him.

"Because I'm SANTA CLA-" before he could finish his sentence, Rick shot him dead on the ground. Carl started crying.

"RICK!" Carol yelled, slapping him across the face. "WHAT THE HELL!?"

"We don't know this guy!" Rick exclaimed.

"Well, it's been a great Christmas, Carol," said Shane. "Andrea AND Santa are dead!" Carol began to cry.

"This is all my fault!" she screamed, running out of the room. Daryl followed her.

"Get back here!" Daryl yelled, imitating Hershel's voice from the 309 promo.

"MEHHH!" Carol exclaimed, running away. Daryl kept chasing her.

"CAROL STOP FREAKING RUNNING!" he yelled.

"NEVER!" Carol screamed. Daryl finally grabbed her and tackled her to the ground.

"Jesus!" he said, out of breath.

"Daryl, what the hell!" she said angrily, trying to get up.

"Carol, I needed to tell you that this is NOT your fault!"

"Sure it is!" she said sadly. "I'm the one who said we need to have Christmas! I'M the one who organized Secret Santa! I'M the one who-" Daryl cut her off by pressing his lips to hers.

"You're the one who ruined Christmas," he whispered.

"Thanks for making me feel better," she said sarcastically, walking away.

"Yeah! You're the one who killed Andrea! When everyone else wanted her dead but was too afraid to admit it!" Carol froze.

"You're the one who triggered a fight between Rick and Shane, th-that would've happened anyway!" She turned around.

"Daryl, I killed Santa," she whispered.

"No," Daryl said softly. "RICK killed Santa."

"B-but Shane said-"

"Don't believe a damn WORD that man says," Daryl told her. "He's an asshole."

"But-"

"Let's just...go back to the party, okay?" Daryl asked. Carol nodded and grabbed his hand.

When they approached the party room, they couldn't believe what they were seeing...

TO BE CONTINUED...


	6. Chapter 6

It's Freaking Christmas

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This will be the final chapter! Thank you all for reading! I wish I could continue but Christmas doesn't last forever! SOOO I'll probably end up making a sequel to this sometime soon. For now I'm going to continue to work on Love Quadrilateral, and I may start a new story if I get a good idea.

So Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa... Thanks guys!

-Abby

Chapter 6:

"Oh. My. God," Daryl said in shock. They could not believe it-

Santa was a zombie.

Yes, Santa Clause had reanimated, and everyone was freaking out. They were pretty sure that Carl was scarred for life.

"Someone shoot him!" Carol exclaimed.

"I can't, Carol!" Rick yelled. "Who in their right mind would shoot Santa Clause?"

"YOU WOULD, dumbass!" Carol yelled, taking Rick's gun and shooting the Santa walker in the head with it.

"Carol!" Lori exclaimed. "NOW who's gonna deliver all the Christmas presents?"

"More importantly, who's gonna deliver our baby?" Shane blurted out.

"Lori," said Carol. "This is the same scenario that takes place during pretty much every movie and Christmas special. WE'RE going to have to deliver them!"

"B-but that's impossible!" Maggie yelled.

"You gotta believe!" said Carol, tap dancing in place. She flew up the chimney and into Santa's sleigh.

"Who's comin'?" Carol asked cheerfully. Her voice echoed through the chimney.

"Sorry Carol, I'm on my period," said Shane.

"Understandable," Lori commented. Suddenly Michonne flew up the chimney and sat in the sleigh with Carol.

"Kwanzaa," said Michonne. Then Daryl, Rick, Glenn and Maggie flew up the chimney, too.

"Yay!" Carol exclaimed, hugging Daryl.

"Wow, I've never seen a real live reindeer before!" Glenn exclaimed. He went up to pet it but it kicked him off the roof.

"Sh-should we go see if he's okay?" Carol asked worriedly.

"Nope," said Maggie. "Shut up and drive!"

"On Dasher, Cupid, Dixon...Uhm..." said Daryl. "Comet, Cupid, CAROL DO SOMETHING!"

"On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen...Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!" Carol exclaimed. The sleigh took off and flew right off into the night.

"Holy crap!" Michonne screeched. "I've never rode on a flying sleigh before!"

"Yeah?" Carol yelled. "Try driving one!"

"Ha! How are we getting along so well? I thought that we hated each other!" Michonne exclaimed.

"Oh, Michonne!" Carol said, laughing. "I think you're just getting your comic life confused with your TV life."

"Something I could never do," Daryl said sighing.

"Awww!" Carol and Michonne said together.

"CAROL! EYES ON THE ROAD!" Rick yelled.

"THERE IS NO ROAD!" Maggie exclaimed.

"AHHH!" they all screamed together. They were going down!

"D-Daryl?" Carol said worriedly. She rubbed her head and tried to collect her thoughts. Everything was dark, and blurry.

"I'm right here," he said, crouching down beside her.

"W-what happened?" she asked him weakly.

"Our sleigh crashed," he whispered.

"B-but..." she said miserably. "Is everyone okay?"

"I don't know," Daryl whispered.

"How are we going to get these presents delivered now?" she asked him with tears in her eyes.

"Carol, I have no idea," he said sadly. "All I know is that we're not in Georgia anymore...and we're not on the same planet, either..."

FIN


End file.
